Do you find yourself crying when you pass your loved one's favorite food in the grocery store? Are you afraid you'll never stop crying, or do you find yourself unable to cry? Do you feel like you will never be happy again? Do your emotions go up and down, depressed one day, angry the next, and perhaps a little better the next? Does this make you think you must be crazy?
If you are in a state of deep grief, you are not crazy. You are normal. In grief your emotions are so intense and sometimes so changeable that you can think you have lost your mind. But you haven't. You are grieving.
The death of a loved one is one of the most intensely painful things that can ever happen to us. It can leave us reeling and gasping for breath. It has been likened to having a limb amputated, but sometimes it can feel more like it's our heart that has been removed. Traditional grief therapy is very valuable after the death of a loved one. You may also elect to have a Repair & Reattachment Grief Therapy session, which can cut through a great deal of suffering in a much shorter time.
Our relationships are never perfect, and when a person dies, there are usually things we regret. Along with our grief, we may feel angry at the person who died or hurt when we remember things they said or did. We may feel angry at ourselves, angry at God, or angry at the doctors, or anxious about the future without that person. These feelings might not seem rational, but they are normal.
Anger, hurt, guilt, and fear are not the only feelings we can have. We usually have intense feelings of sadness and perhaps despair. Sometimes, part of us can even feel a certain degree of relief. We may have all these feelings and more all at the same time! This crazy combination of conflicting feelings can cause us to question our own sanity, but it is normal.
There are some kinds of deaths that result in grief that is not commonly recognized or validated. Examples include miscarriage, stillbirth, abortion, death of a beloved pet, death of a same-sex partner or spouse, death of a person in prison, of a person who is mentally ill, someone who was murdered, someone who died by their own hand, or someone who had severe dementia. In these cases, people may not well supported in their grief. Sometimes they may feel that they cannot even mention that they are in grief. But grief is grief, and we deserve compassion and support, no matter what.
Fortunately, human beings have an inner blueprint for health. We are programmed to heal, even though when we are in the thick of grief it might not feel like it. It can be very hard to relinquish our pain, because it sometimes feels that the pain keeps us connected to our loved one. Often a person in the depths of grief may not even want to heal for fear of losing that connection.
We can recover, however, and stay connected in a profound way at the same time. Although life will be different, equilibrium, peace, and joy can be ours again, and we can maintain our connection with our loved one forever. I am available to walk you and support you through your pain while you regain your balance, and it is my honor to do so. I will not flinch from your pain, no matter how overwhelming it feels.